Although it is commonly referred to as the “bubble boy disease” they don’t have portable bubbles to keep your child safe from germs. Trust me, I have asked! As a parent to a child who can not attend school due to multiple hospitalizations from viral infections, although I sometimes secretly wish I can put my son in a bubble, the best I was able to come close to this dream was a rain cover over his stroller after having had bone marrow transplant. Believe it or not, I was still worried a draft would come up under that rain cover when anyone around us coughed or sneezed – even if it was due to seasonal allergies. As a parent, you wish you can protect your child but the reality is you can only do your best.
You will become a “frequent flyer” but not in airplanes, at Doctor’s offices and in hospitals. We are commonly referred to as frequent flyers and are usually admitted onto the same floor in the hospital despite the issue we go into the emergency room for. The nurses and doctors who know my son best have a protocol for his needs and commonly consult the same specialists on each admission. The nurses, nursing assistants, attending doctors and even the janitorial service workers on the floor know my son well. Although he is unwell, they enjoy seeing him and helping to him recover. It’s never fun to be admitted to the hospital, but it is more comforting knowing the people involved in your care have seen you through this before. For a child who gets admitted frequently, a hospital can be a home away from home. And, likewise, visits to a doctor’s office can be very much the same. Knowing your care team and having them see your child when they are both well and unwell helps in many ways.
You will need your specialists to work together and your primary physician will need to be good at “project management” since many bodily systems are involved in this illness, my son requires a team of specialists who work well together to manage his illness as a whole and not only treat the symptoms. Each system affects the others so having a team that works well together is worth its weight in gold.
You ARE the expert in your child’s health, wellness and ongoing care. When my son was hospitalized his first entire year of life, I was initially at the mercy of his healthcare team because I was entirely clueless as to how anything worked in the hospital, and had basically NO medical knowledge whatsoever. I learned as much as I could by being involved in the “rounds’ my son’s doctors held every day discussing his care. Soon, I was able to hold intelligent conversations with his medical professionals specific to my son’s care and weigh in on the treatments. I always empowered myself to be involved in the decision making and expressed my concerns to the doctors treatments and medications. An informed patient and caregiver helps the doctors to treat the patient.
Learn how to use the internet Correctly – I learned how google could beenemy or my best friend depending on which websites I chose to obtain my information from. My search for knowledge is never-ending, but I have learned to rely on medical journals and medical research publications and stay away from websites run by the general public. When dealing with specialists, you want to be well-informed on your child’s illness, treatments, and any medical advancements in the field. It can take months to get an appointment with some of these doctors, so don’t hesitate to make lists and have your questions ready in advance. Being prepared to ask the right questions and be educated enough to understand the answers you will receive. Medical terminology can render a person highly confused, especially in the world of rare disease.
Get involved with organizations that will help you to deal with the ramifications of this illness. Finding guidance through resources available to educate yourself or simply finding peers who are on a similar journey of illness can lift the burden when you share your experiences and knowledge. Sometimes you just need someone who “gets it” to lend a shoulder to lean on. Who knows, you may be the shoulder they need as well.
Most importantly – don’t let this illness overwhelm you, life goes on and you can make the best of every day and enjoy life despite the challenges.